Knotten

I found in me a knot

Stuck, jammed and rotten

Its ancientness bewilders me

Was it always there untouched and forgotten? 

It feels alien

But how come it resides within me?

I have not known my past beyond memory

But now the task is to reimagine my very being

Struggling throughout

Day by day 

Till eternity

Unknotting it

The force is not mine

But the effort has to be

It is what it is. 

But why must I deal with it?

Take it away, Oh God!

The God has turned his ear

The forces are blind, the Universe is forlorn 

Where am I to turn

To pray and be heard?

The fire is already extinguished

I can't melt it or burn. 

I Imagine A World

I imagine a world

Where all kinds of men and women

Awkward or outspoken

Friendly or sarcastic

With amour or alone

Virgin or not

Smoker or not

Intelligent or not 

Wise and dumb

Forgetful or not

Aloof and distant

Or observer and keen

Opportunist or fool

Sad and excited

Extro or introvert

Anxious or balanced

Hyped or silenced

Sensitive and unaware

Well versed or useless

Resourceful or hopeless

Unknown or acquaintance 

Lazy or overactive

Sleepy and insomniac

Can feel comfortable

In one single space

And call it a home. 

I imagine a respect

No pull-downs

No insecurities

No validations or ego clashes

A space conjoined with borrowed time

Where all can rest in peace. 

Hazed

I feel a calm before the constant storm

A threat looming biased in form

Hostility speaking volumes of a suppressed world

A negative space, an unfriendly gaze

An insolent remark borne from crafted rage.

I feel a place expanding red

An uncomfortable exchange

An indescent cage

And no escape. 

A melodious charm is just a facade

An explode on the edge

All going in vain

With time and space

An itchiness remains. 

With an eagerness to revive the bud of hope

A harmonious music echoeing distantly

Is all ears to all gossips, 

Entering this maze.

Waiting to come out of

The eternal haze. 

Till then, 

Staying dazed. 

Absorption

Women have always learnt to criticize themselves. 

While standing in front of the mirror

They notice their freckles

The injury marks

Popping white heads

Acne marks

Extra hair strand

Growing white hair

Distance between the eyebrows

Open pores

Shape of the lips

Hollows under the eyes

Uneven skin tones

Puffiness

Double chin, triple chin

Pigments

Shape of eyebrows 

Hairlines

Length of hair

Unpolished curves

Fat and muscles

Skintones

Body shape

Bulges, bloatings

And then come back to unwelcoming pupils

And you see yourself looking at you

Not out of love

But out from the disappointment

And then you check your worth

Have you lived it well since you were born? 

Have you made it to the top yet? 

Made few lacs? 

Found your love? 

Traveled? Trekked? 

Learnt new skills? 

How well do you manage your house? 

What all the recipes do you know? 

Can you impress someone with your meal? 

How well have you maintained your wardrobe? 

Pedicure? Menicure? Hair spa? 

But then you couldn't afford such frequent trips to enjoy salon, cafe, shopping trips

Should you seek financial help? 

Are you eating well? 

Fruits? Veggies? Protein? 

Chia seeds? 

Did you check your weight recently? 

Do you remember the time you were an ideal weight? 

Yes, but also you looked so young back then

There was a spark in the eyes

Such a fine smooth face it was

And what expressions! 

What adventure! 

What courage! 

What strength! 

What rebellion! 

Where is that spirit lost? 

Long behind this unwelcoming gaze

That is judging your own reflection

In this hazy mirror

You are no longer even keen to wipe it clear.